Who runs the world?? MOMS!! :)

I'm sitting here eating a bowl of Lucky Charms....trying to recover from a hour long screamfest.  No joke...it was a rough one.  I'm glad that's over...for now.  lol.  I was just thinking earlier about how much I admire single moms, or those moms who don't necessarily get any help from their significant other.  I seriously don't know how you do it.  And those of you with other kids in the house too...forget about it lol!  You're amazing!!  I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am SO thankful for my husband and also my friend Jesica (who has saved my sanity on MANY occasion lol)

James and I have discussed having another child.  We discussed it while I was pregnant and we discussed it after I had Cole.  To which I informed James that if he wanted a shot at having another child, he'd wait to discuss it after I was recovered & my vagina didn't hurt! LOL (sorry...tmi) We really would like to have another child and we know that we would probably have better luck if we tried sooner rather than later.  Although, I have to admit, after almost 4 weeks, I'm still a little gun-shy.  I'm just really not sure about how I will survive another newborn while Cole would still be so young.  I joked that my mom would have to move in with us lol.  But seriously...she'd have to move in with us!! ;).  And I also worry about taking Cole's baby years away from him.  I know that's crazy.  People do it all the time (have kids close together), but it's one of my fears, nonetheless.  I have a lot of fears though.  But I'm hoping most of them work themselves out the more familiar I get with my new life :). 

Back to the title of this post....Who runs the world??  MOMS!!  That is for sure!  You never really get it until you are a mom, but wow!  This job is no joke.  I wouldn't trade being a mom or my son for anything.  And don't get me wrong, it's not all bad, not at all.  There are just those times where you hang on and try to survive the ride lol.  Hats off to all the Mamas out there!  And any other first time moms....hang in there :)

Starting again & what a way to start!! :)

Ok, so I've decided I'll start my blog back up.  I don't know why because I may never have the time, but if I use that as an excuse, I'll use every other one too.  I just have a lot on my mind as a new mom.  Fears, accomplishments, ideas, frustrations.....I think having an outlet is a good thing.  Let's hope so at least ;). 

First of all....I am SO in love with my baby!!  And he is really, really a good baby.  I'm blessed and thankful!  I've heard it said a million times & knew this kind of love existed, but you just never know until it happens to you.  This crazy, unconditional love.... it wows me all the time!  I hate that the majority of my motherhood so far has been riddled with a lot of fear & anxiety.  But I know it's all because I don't have faith in myself...ever!  If I don't know something for certain, I doubt everything I know.  I believe I realized today that I can do this.  It will be hard at times and I know there will be times I'll be exhausted & feel like I'm at my breaking point....but I KNOW I can do this!  :).  I just don't want to screw my child up.  Plain & simple.  So I will probably continue to worry about everything.  Is he in his swing too long?  Have I given him enough attention between washing bottles, cleaning & laundry.  Should I wake him up more during the day?  Am I spoiling him already?  Is he growing right?  And on & on & on lol.  But that's motherhood.  So it's normal, right?

I also feel very guilty for switching to formula instead of breastfeeding like I had planned.  I worried over it for a while, but I can't deny that Cole is doing much better since we switched him.  I just don't think he was getting enough.  But then my milk came in & now I wonder if I gave up too soon or should I have started back?  I think it's too late for all that now. So let's hope the feelings fade instead of turning into another regret I add to the growing list lol. 

Ummm let me just say right now that I have an AMAZING husband!!  Seriously.  He is hands on for everything & considers everything a joint responsibility.  Most of the dads I've known, are not like that.  I'm so thankful for him and there's no way I could have done this much without him.  He was amazing through the delivery & has been even more amazing now.  But I should have known he would be.  He's an awesome dad & he's my rock. 

Ok it's time to get off here.  I have clothes to launder & things I need to be doing.  So let's see if I've missed anything....  Cole's umbilical cord fell off all the way yesterday, his penis is looking great from his circumcision, he sleeps well & is only fussy for 30 mins to an hour around the same time every night.  I think that's about it for now.  Oh yeah, and he is WONDERFUL!!!  :)

God Bless!!!!