Just a few things I wanted to post.....

Deployment Prayer

Dear Lord:
Give me the strength to say goodbye. Hold back the tear in my eye.
Cure my insomnia so that I may sleep alone. Give me a reason to awake when I’ve none.


Dear Lord:
Please help me pace myself. Allow me to turn to you for help,
And please let me be strong for him, Even if I’ve reached the brim.

Dear Lord:
Please make time go fast. I don’t know how long I can last.
This is the hardest time of my life, But this is my job: the soldier’s wife.


Dear Lord:


Let them all stay strong. Give them the will to go on,
And Lord, Please bring back all our men. In the name of our country. Amen.
~By Leanne Thomas~

A Military Wife in the Army of One
You aren’t issued with the uniform, boots and weapon,

But you are one lady no one should step on.

It usually goes “With this ring, I thee wed,”

But add in “Even if it means me in an empty bed.”

“and the weeks in the field with many late nights,”

“which will at some point lead to fights.”

Yes, a military wife is courageous and strong,

Even when the days seem so long.

When you feel like you’re at your wits end,

You “Suck it up” and start to mend.

You learn the Army language,

All those acronyms, “How can I manage.”

PX, AAFES, LES, MOS - the list goes on and on,

All those letters would make an ordinary woman yawn.

But those letters are part of your life,

The life of a proud military wife.

You move too much and decorate too little,

Because you always seem to leave in the middle.

Don’t get too settled and make lots of friends

Because home is wherever the Army sends.

And then one day the orders come down,

Your husband soon will be leaving town.

“Up to 365 days or until mission complete”

You know your heart just skipped a beat.

You stare at the orders in front of you,

This was a possibility you always knew.

Now life takes on new meaning

And the tears start streaming.

You hug each other tight and kiss farewell,

How you feel, words could never tell.

You go back to an empty home,

And try not to sit by the phone.

You wait, wonder and worry,

And hope this year goes by in a hurry.

Things are different now.

You’ll do things you once did not know how.

Yellow ribbons are a new accessory,

You make your outfit match- it is a necessity

You cry when the National Anthem is played,

And you get your child that much needed band-aid.

You have your daily chores, as always,

Except now you’re the only one to sweep the hallways.

You’re “IT”- the only one

But you do it and try to have fun.

You say your prayers and wish on a star in the sky,

When he’s back in your arms, you’ll forget the year that went by.

And you’ll think how strong you had become,
When you were truly the army of “one.”
~Letisha E Wheeler October 16, 2005~
***********************************************
The Soldier's Spouse Creed



I am in love with a United States Soldier. I will support him in his defense of the Constitution of the United States of America. And I will understand that he must obey the orders of those appointed over him. I represent the true backbone and fighting spirit of the Army. And for those who have served before me I salute you with all the strength and loyalty my heart can muster. I proudly stand by the one I love with Honor, Courage and Commitment. I am committed to support my soldier and the United States Army.
**************
The Silent Ranks



I wear no uniforms, no blues or greens.
But, I am in the military, in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank upon my shoulders. Salutes I do not give.
But in the military world is where I live and am rarely seen.
I am not in the chain of command, orders I do not give or get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I can not forget.
I am not the one who fires a weapon, Who puts his life on the line.
But my job is just as tough, I’m the one who is always left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and pride filled man.
And the call to serve his country not all can understand.
Behind the lines, I see things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do my kids and me.
I love the man I married. The military is his life.
So I pledge to support my hero and stand among the silent ranks known as
THE MILITARY WIFE.

*I'll post a real blog tonight....hopefully!  LOL  I have quite a bit to say, but not much time to sit here & say it.  I hope everyone has a BLESSED day.  As you can tell, the guys, all the spouses & prayer is weighing HEAVY on my mind today.  I love you all & hope time is flying by fast for all you wives.  ((HUGS))

☮One Love!!☮

****************

Getting the hang of things......

It's been a while since I've blogged.....I haven't really had time...or the energy.  Actually, if I'm really honest about it, I just didn't want to cry  LOL.  I do enough of that off & on as it is  lol I don't need to do it to myself  :oP  Day 4 is almost over & I'm thankful for that.  James & I were talking & we agreed that we'll be happy when we are in the triple digits lol.  Life is stressful sometimes, but it's harder when you don't have that one person.....the one that can just make everything else go away.  I miss my husband.  But I think that's obvious ;o)  But the thing about it is that there are SO many people who have it worse than I do....so I can't really complain.  I can miss my husband & cry if I need to, but complaining really isn't an option.  I mean really....what would that do?  That's right, nothing.  So I wait.  That's all.  Being here helps though.  I'm busy in ways that I think I never really thought about before.  I would have never been cutting, peeling & canning tomatoes!  And the little things like busting out the MP3 player & vacuuming the floors is a welcomed distraction.  I like those things.  The days do seem to be going by fast, although James isn't in country yet.  So that & the fact that each day is always a little different, it'll always be just one day at a time.  That's the only way I've found to 'survive' this.  Too much more can just be overwhelming.  365.  That is a LOT!!!! And that hurts so....moving on!  LOL 

James is doing well.  As well as can be expected.  He (& the other guys) have to get in a certain mindset.  People tell me they can't imagine how we (military wives) do what we do.  All I can say, I can't imagine doing what he is doing.  I'm SO proud of my husband.  And I'm VERY proud of our life & I'm thankful for so much.  Most military wives will tell you this is a love/hate relationship.  It is.  I LOVE the life we live & I love the fact that we do & see so much!  And most of the wives I know will tell you that it is an AMAZING family!!  But then there's training, late nights, weekends, staff duty, politics...and of course, deployment.  With all that said, I absolutely love Army life.  I never dreamed I would be living like this.  I'm also thankful for the lessons I've learned and the things I've seen & done that have completely changed my perspective on so many things. I see life in a whole new way than I did.....even 2 years ago.  I LOVE that!!!  I've grown as a person.  Spiritually, emotionally, mentally.....it's great!  :o)  I'm not nearly the person I want to be, but I'm working on it.  LOL  I'm only human ;o)  Today has been good.....hopefully tomorrow will be the same or better.  I'm not sure when I'll talk to my husband again.  I hope they get settled in quickly, a schedule forms & we get an address.  That'll make me happy  :o) 

Ok....going to watch When in Rome with my sister.  We've watched it once already but it is sooo good!!  Sorry I didn't get to watch it with you Stef.  But you were right!!  :o)  I hope everyone has a great week & I hope it goes by fast for us wives!! 

One Love!!!

Things that make you go Hmmmmm.... ;oP

I don't understand why people willingly put SO much of themselves on the line for others to be their judge & jury. Why would you base YOUR self worth or YOUR happiness off of the opinion of another person? Sorry, but NO ONE determines MY happiness or self worth other than ME! And the way I see it, if people would stop expecting SO much out of other people & just accept people for who they are, you'll be a LOT less disappointed....a LOT more often. JMO :o)   There are people in my life that I have just had to accept them the way they are.  I don't expect any more out of them than what they have proven they can give.  Honestly though....I've learned not to expect much from people these days anyway.  It's actually very liberating.  More people should try it :o) 

James finished packing today.....I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet.  I feel like we are limbo.  And being in limbo is never really a pleasant thing, right?  I'm just thankful we are on THIS side of it.  At least he is here being delayed and not THERE & being delayed.  Thank God for that!  I know that very few days from now, he will be on a plane, headed to Afghanistan........& I will be SO incredibly empty.  I'm actually not sure there's a word to describe the feeling.  Empty just seems to be the most fitting.  I can tell he is getting a little antsy.  Although I'm not sure that's a very fitting word either LOL.  I can tell it's weighing on his mind.  I wish I could take all of that from him.  I pray God grants him peace.....& that he always knows how much I love him & how VERY proud I am of him!!!  I tell him all the time that I'll be ok...just as long as he is safe. 

The closer we get to "the day" the more anxious I get.  I'm scared, sad, unsure.....well, you name it LOL  I wonder what that day will be like for me.  Will I be in shock & float through it on autopilot?  Will I be a basket case who can't stop crying (& everyone wishes they would lol)  I'm hoping I just accept it, process it all & try to deal with all of this....the best way I know how.  People have asked me several times what they can do for me.  Honestly....I have no idea.  The only thing I can think of would be prayers.  We will take all the prayers we can get.  I think I'm done for the night.  I have been SO exhausted here lately & I'm not sure why.  Going to spend some quality time with the hubs & watch Con Air.  I hope everyone is having a great week & I hope all my fellow Army wives are enjoying this time with their hubbys & for those whos husbands are already deployed.....You're ALWAYS in my thoughts & prayers!!!  I hope the time flies for you!!! 

☮ One Love!!! ☮

Watching my hubby pack........

........just sucks!!  That's all I can say about it right now.  Every time I really think about the deployment, it feels like my heart stops.  & that makes me think.....can't you die from that????  LOL  I know my heart doesn't actually stop, but sometimes......in the lowest of times.....you wonder & begin to think that maybe, just maybe, it's possible to die from a broken heart.  If that were the case though....many a wife would be gone long before me.  To quote a friends status (she's roughly 3 months into her hubbys 12 mo deployment) & she says it so perfectly....." ...and some days, no matter how great or busy they are, you check your email or see the news and the intense reality of war smacks you in the face, brings tears to your eyes & puts you on your knees..."  And PUTS YOU ON YOUR KNEES is no understatement!!  You can try to be ok, brave, happy, busy....what ever you want to call it but sooner or later & most of the time sooner.....it completely knocks the wind out of you!  The only personal experience I can speak of at this point is training...JRTC, things like that.  And for those of you not in the Army community, those times aren't a drop in the bucket compared to a 12 month (or longer) deployment.  Maybe that's one of the many reasons I am dreading this.  I know how hard those times were.......  James & I are always together....always!  So even doing little things sometimes can depress the crap out of you. 

Ok....I'm done with that subject. :oP Tonight is the last night in this apartment.  If you've lived here...you'd know why it's a little bittersweet.  The area is AMAZING & quiet....  Gorgeous woodwork, huge rooms with vaulted ceilings....but....no dishwasher, no washer/dryer hookup, can't put a window ac unit in the bedroom, apartment manager comes knocking when ever he feels like it....etc.  And probably the most important of all those is never, NEVER just show up to the house of a military wife, unannounced, while her husband is deployed.  That's just not nice!!  We all know the protocol that comes with >that< kind of visit.....but unless we are talking/chatting with our husbands at that time....our minds immediately go there.  Maybe that's just a heads up :oP  I really need to get my butt up & finish up all the last minute things.  Out tomorrow!!!!  :oD  I'll just be happy to have AC!  hahahaha  Hope everyone has a great weekend!  And I hope it goes by slllooooooooooow for us!!  LOL 

<3

What a day!!!

What a day is right!! LOL  I knew that I had to start getting busy this morning....but I sure was dreading it!  James & I started getting busy around noon and by 1, I was ready to start posting stuff to sell.  Y'all...I didn't even get 3 things posted when my phone started ringing off the hook!  LOL  It was nuts!  Long & exhausting story short....6 hrs later & a few things delivered....we made over a thousand dollars!  I can't believe it!  LOL  We figured it would take a lot longer but boy am I happy!!  Now I can get started cleaning out closets & getting everything sorted out in the morning.  You know.....this is a lot of crap & stress RIGHT before my husband leaves!  Me and my brilliant ideas!  ;oP  I'm happy though....about my decision that is.  I know that God is pointing me in the right direction.  What I do from there is up to me though.  Which reminds me....I still haven't looked at schools yet.  Geez o Pete's I've got to stop procrastinating!!!  LOL  If I don't get busy on that (if BG even has programs offered for 11 months) I'm going to have to just get a job.  I have to keep busy! 

So as I sit here looking around my house that's rapidly becoming hollow....I count my blessings.  I'm SO thankful my husband is lying next to me....if only for just a few more days.  I'm also thankful that today went so well!!  Hopefully now we can get the majority of it all done early this week & spend as much time as we can just being together.  I'm praying for that.....

Good night everyone!  Hope you all have an amazing week!!  LOVE!!

Hopefully the start of more to come :o)

Well.....I've been thinking on and off about doing this for some time now. With James leaving and this being the first deployment I've been through....I thought it might be helpful to get out some of the things that are in my head. Which now might be the time for a disclaimer haha! **Warning!! I may be a little crazy sometimes! LOL :o) So...here we are gearing up for what will be my first year long deployment. I had originally planned to stay in Colorado through this one but recent family concerns have come up and let's face it, it has to be somewhat easier being at home with my family & friends not to mention....I'm sure they will keep me plenty busy ;o) So, just 6 days ago, we made the decision for me to move back to KY. So thousands of miles & having to drop Makenzie off 10 days early (*tear) later.....we have decided to sell just about everything in our house, give the rest away, store it or take it with me. So here I am, reeaally needing to get busy at least with planning this crazy train (I swear I'm working on it first thing tomorrow!) haha! I just thought about getting this started now....or I may never.

I'm a little stressed right now. I try not to show it but if this is going to truly be MY blog and if I expect to feel any better through this....I have to be honest, right? Right! :o) James deploys in less than 2 weeks. Yes, LESS THAN 2 WEEKS, for those of you who have never been through this. I only repeated myself because my heart feels like it just stopped and it's literally hard for me to breathe now. Part of me feels like I have been in shock or denial for the past few weeks. I mean, I know....but let's face it....you don't WANT to face it. Believe me, it will come soon enough and I'll be facing it daily! So....I take it one day at a time, or try to at this point. And I hope and pray that I never feel like I wasted any time with my husband. So one day at a time. That's pretty much all you can do. At this point in the war it's kinda like giving birth (hey! It's the closest thing I could think to compare it to lol) Women (and some men) do it everyday! Hundreds....thousands! Regardless of the fact that I fell in love with my husband and not his uniform....I did know all of this going into my marriage. But it never changes the way you feel about him being gone & in a war zone for a year. I was talking to a friend the other day....I know I'm strong & I will survive but I am SO not looking forward to the pain, worry, fear, sleepless nights, crying at weird times & crying myself to sleep. James is my best friend, my confidant, my sanity....the one place I can always call home. I simply can not imagine going a year (minus 15 days for R&R) without this man! I will be praying a LOT!!!!

I should be doing something else right now, but seeing how it is 8pm...I think I may just finish wasting this day. Might as well finish something I started LOL! This blog may not always be funny or entertaining or even make sense sometimes lol.....but it will always be how I'm feeling & what I'm thinking. And of course comments and things like that will ALWAYS be welcome and very much appreciated!! I'm nothing special lol just an Army wife trying to survive her first deployment the best way she can.

Love you all and have a blessed day!! :o)